JRE #1672 - Iliza Shlesinger

24-Jun-21

This podcast features comedian Iliza Shlesinger, known for her stand-up, acting, writing, and podcast “Ask Iliza Anything.” The episode explores various topics, from her career journey to personal anecdotes and societal observations, revealing Shlesinger’s insightful and often humorous perspective on life.

Provocative topics include discussions on:

The power dynamics of Hollywood and how to navigate them.
The complexities of social media and the pressure to curate an online persona.
The challenges of dealing with fans, especially when they cross boundaries.
The prevalence of dishonesty and manipulation in personal and professional relationships.
The role of vulnerability and authenticity in forming connections with others.
The double standards faced by women in society, particularly regarding appearances and expectations.
The impact of social media filters on body image and self-perception.
The absurdity of cult behavior and how it can manifest in different forms.
The importance of finding a romantic partner who aligns with your personality and lifestyle.
The art of cooking and the value of making food with intention and passion.
The challenges and rewards of navigating a career in stand-up comedy.
The ever-evolving nature of comedy and its role in society.
The pressure to conform to societal expectations and the importance of staying true to oneself.
The impact of cancel culture and the need for empathy and understanding in online discourse.

Underlying themes in the podcast include:

The importance of maintaining independence and autonomy in a career, especially in a competitive field.
The value of hard work and hustle in achieving success, particularly in creative endeavors.
The complexities of human behavior and the motivations behind dishonesty and manipulation.
The challenges and rewards of navigating personal relationships in a modern world.
The constant evolution of societal norms and the pressures they place on individuals.
The role of comedy as a vehicle for social commentary and challenging the status quo.
The importance of finding a balance between ambition and personal well-being.
The power of vulnerability and honesty in building genuine connections with others.
The need for empathy and understanding in a world that often seeks to judge and criticize.

Here are 4 points summarizing each identified topic:

1. The Power Dynamics of Hollywood

Shlesinger discusses the challenges of maintaining creative control in Hollywood, where executives often prioritize commercial success over artistic expression.
She emphasizes the importance of financial independence and not being beholden to anyone for creative decisions.
Shlesinger believes that pursuing a career in acting necessitates living in Los Angeles to fully immerse oneself in the industry and network effectively.
She argues that podcasting and stand-up comedy offer greater creative freedom and autonomy compared to traditional television or film projects.

2. Social Media and Online Persona

Shlesinger highlights the pressure to curate a perfect online persona, emphasizing the need for authenticity and transparency.
She acknowledges the prevalence of filters and unrealistic beauty standards on social media, which can lead to body dysmorphia and unhealthy comparisons.
Shlesinger warns against the dangers of cancel culture, where public figures can be swiftly condemned for online missteps.
She encourages a more nuanced and empathetic approach to online discourse, emphasizing the importance of understanding context and intention.

3. Dealing with Fans

Shlesinger shares her experiences with fans who cross boundaries, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and protecting personal space.
She acknowledges the challenges of dealing with intrusive fans, particularly those who may be seeking personal gain or attention.
Shlesinger emphasizes the need for comics to prioritize their own well-being and mental health, even when facing demanding fans.
She highlights the importance of maintaining a healthy perspective on social media and not allowing negative comments to affect personal well-being.

4. Dishonesty and Manipulation in Relationships

Shlesinger recounts a personal story of a man who lied about his education and background, illustrating the complexities of navigating relationships in a modern world.
She emphasizes the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in forming genuine connections, highlighting the dangers of dishonesty and deception.
Shlesinger argues that vulnerability and open communication are crucial in building trust and healthy relationships.
She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and protecting oneself from manipulative behavior.

5. Double Standards Faced by Women in Society

Shlesinger discusses the double standards faced by women in society, particularly regarding appearances and expectations.
She highlights the pressure on women to conform to unrealistic beauty standards, often driven by fashion and media.
Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of women celebrating their bodies and embracing diversity in beauty.
She encourages women to reject societal pressures and prioritize their own well-being and happiness.

6. Social Media Filters and Body Image

Shlesinger discusses the impact of social media filters on body image and self-perception.
She highlights the dangers of comparing oneself to unrealistic representations of beauty, often created through filters and editing.
Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of embracing natural beauty and rejecting the pressures to alter one’s appearance to meet unrealistic standards.
She encourages a more critical approach to social media content and understanding the role of filters and editing in shaping perception.

7. The Absurdity of Cult Behavior

Shlesinger explores the phenomenon of cults, highlighting the manipulative tactics and psychological control employed by cult leaders.
She examines the stories of individuals who have been caught up in cults, emphasizing the vulnerability of those who are seeking meaning and purpose.
Shlesinger discusses the difficulties of deprogramming individuals from cult beliefs, highlighting the emotional and psychological complexities involved.
She emphasizes the importance of critical thinking, skepticism, and healthy boundaries in protecting oneself from potentially harmful ideologies.

8. Finding a Romantic Partner

Shlesinger discusses the importance of finding a romantic partner who aligns with your personality and lifestyle, emphasizing the need for compatibility and shared values.
She emphasizes the importance of open communication and setting boundaries in romantic relationships.
Shlesinger highlights the challenges of navigating dating in a modern world, where social media and online platforms play a significant role.
She encourages individuals to prioritize their own happiness and not settle for relationships that are not fulfilling or supportive.

9. The Art of Cooking

Shlesinger shares her passion for cooking and discusses the role of food as a form of art and expression.
She emphasizes the importance of using fresh ingredients and cooking with intention and creativity.
Shlesinger highlights the connection between food, culture, and community, emphasizing the role of food in bringing people together.
She encourages individuals to explore different cuisines and culinary traditions, expanding their palates and appreciating the diversity of food culture.

10. Stand-Up Comedy and Its Challenges

Shlesinger discusses the challenges and rewards of navigating a career in stand-up comedy, emphasizing the importance of hard work, dedication, and resilience.
She acknowledges the pressure to constantly evolve and innovate in a competitive field, highlighting the need for creativity and adaptability.
Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself and not conforming to industry expectations.
She shares her experiences with navigating the emotional and psychological demands of performing stand-up comedy.

11. The Ever-Evolving Nature of Comedy

Shlesinger reflects on the evolving nature of comedy, acknowledging how societal norms and sensitivities have changed over time.
She discusses the challenges of navigating humor in a politically charged environment, emphasizing the importance of intention and context.
Shlesinger believes that comedy can be a powerful tool for social commentary and challenging the status quo.
She encourages comedians to embrace their own unique voices and perspectives, pushing boundaries and challenging the status quo.

12. Conformity and Authenticity

Shlesinger discusses the pressure to conform to societal expectations, particularly regarding appearances, careers, and personal relationships.
She emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself and not allowing external pressures to dictate personal choices.
Shlesinger encourages individuals to embrace their unique qualities and pursue paths that align with their values and passions.
She highlights the challenges of navigating a world that often prioritizes conformity over individuality.

13. Cancel Culture and Empathy

Shlesinger explores the phenomenon of cancel culture, highlighting the dangers of public shaming and the need for empathy and understanding.
She argues that social media can be a breeding ground for negativity and intolerance, where individuals are often condemned for online missteps.
Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and second chances, acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes.
She encourages a more nuanced and forgiving approach to online discourse, emphasizing the importance of understanding context and intention.

14. Importance of Independence and Autonomy

Shlesinger advocates for maintaining independence and autonomy in a career, particularly in a competitive field like entertainment.
She believes that pursuing one’s passion without being beholden to anyone for financial or creative support is essential for long-term fulfillment.
Shlesinger’s own career path, spanning stand-up, acting, writing, and podcasting, exemplifies her commitment to creative freedom and financial independence.
She encourages aspiring artists to explore multiple avenues for expression and not limit themselves to traditional paths to success.

15. The Value of Hard Work and Hustle

Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of hard work and hustle in achieving success, particularly in creative endeavors.
She believes that a constant drive to learn, grow, and improve is essential for staying relevant and achieving goals.
Shlesinger’s own work ethic, constantly pursuing new projects and challenging herself, exemplifies her dedication to her craft.
She encourages aspiring artists to embrace a proactive and persistent approach to their careers, believing that success often comes from consistent effort and dedication.

16. The Complexities of Human Behavior

Shlesinger delves into the complexities of human behavior, exploring the motivations behind dishonesty, manipulation, and self-deception.
She acknowledges the human tendency for insecurity and the need to create a sense of self-worth, which can sometimes lead to harmful actions.
Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of understanding the root causes of negative behavior, rather than simply judging or condemning individuals.
She encourages empathy and compassion in dealing with individuals who may be struggling with personal challenges.

17. Navigating Personal Relationships

Shlesinger shares her experiences with navigating personal relationships, emphasizing the importance of finding a partner who aligns with your values and goals.
She highlights the challenges of maintaining healthy relationships in a world that can be isolating and demanding.
Shlesinger stresses the need for open communication, honesty, and vulnerability in building lasting and fulfilling connections.
She encourages individuals to prioritize their own well-being and happiness in relationships, recognizing the importance of setting boundaries and protecting oneself from harmful influences.

18. Social Norms and Expectations

Shlesinger discusses the constant evolution of societal norms and the pressures they place on individuals.
She reflects on how expectations regarding gender roles, appearances, and behavior have shifted over time.
Shlesinger encourages individuals to challenge societal norms and prioritize their own values and beliefs.
She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and rejecting the pressures to conform to unrealistic standards.

19. The Role of Comedy in Society

Shlesinger explores the role of comedy in society, highlighting its power as a tool for social commentary and challenging the status quo.
She believes that comedy can provide a platform for addressing sensitive and taboo topics, prompting reflection and discourse.
Shlesinger acknowledges the potential for humor to be misconstrued or taken out of context.
She encourages comedians to use their platform responsibly and consider the impact of their words on others.

20. Balancing Ambition and Well-being

Shlesinger discusses the importance of finding a balance between ambition and personal well-being, particularly in a demanding career like entertainment.
She highlights the need for self-care and prioritizing mental and physical health to maintain a sustainable career path.
Shlesinger encourages individuals to establish healthy boundaries and prioritize their own needs, even when facing external pressures to succeed.
She emphasizes the importance of finding joy and fulfillment in all aspects of life, not just career aspirations.

Memorable Quotes:

“The odds of anything happening in this career are less than 0. So the more things you try to do, the less painful it is when something doesn’t go because you have something else to focus on.” – Shlesinger emphasizes the importance of diversifying one’s pursuits to mitigate the risks of failure.
“You cannot fake intelligence. You cannot fake sense of humor. You cannot fake wit.” – Shlesinger underscores the importance of genuine qualities in forming lasting relationships.
“If you’re trying to do acting, there’s really 1 place to live… If you wanna act and you wanna do that, they’ll they’ll especially acting, that’s the spot to be for sure.” – Shlesinger highlights the importance of being physically present in Hollywood for those seeking a career in acting.
“When you hire a comic, you don’t know if we’re gonna bite you.” – Shlesinger humorously acknowledges the unpredictable nature of stand-up comedy and the inherent risk involved in hiring comedians.
“Don’t you think it’s also that kind of like financial world… It’s all about, like, what kind of car do you drive? What kind of watch do you have? Where’s your where’s your house you know, what how much money are you making? How much did you make last year? What’s your what’s your end goal?” – Shlesinger criticizes the materialistic focus of the financial world, emphasizing the importance of intrinsic value over external possessions.